Monday, August 24, 2009
Most things we truly have to walk through alone. No one to tell us it will be alright, no one to wrap their arms around us, no one to give us an sort of guarantee. Just Jesus. He is our guarantee, and sometimes...most of the time, we don't even know what that guarantee is. I love how I know He is here. Behind me, in front of me, above me, all around me, cheering me on. It is scary though. Lord forgive me for my fear. Help me to be most of all honest with you. Let me tell you the truth, more than anyone. Help me to overcome my fears please. I am so tired of being in bondage to these things. At the same time, being forced to my knees, or being in a helpless state is really where you are most able to help me. It's bitter-sweet. You are my breath of fresh air. You are rest for my soul and body. It's kind of weird. I just miss you today. I know where I am supposed to be and this is not my home. I miss home. I miss you. "Who do I have in heaven but you"..., I love that verse. You are all I want. In you there is holiness, here there is filth. Praise be your name. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's so silly that I am reserved to trust you and give you my all at times. Not right now. Please take all of me. Please give my husband a new wife, and my boys a new mom, and please let it be me. I am a new creation in you. You are victory. Thank you for all my family and friends that have supported me. Thank you for sharpening me, for letting me have so many troubles so I can see your beauty. Please bring me peace, and help me to let go of the little things and to give, give, give. Fill my cup Lord. I need your help. Please set my boys free, even in small ways. Give our family victory. I'm not perfect, I am a wretched sinner. I deserve hell, I deserve to be without Jesus forever, but He loves me. He wants to be with me, He forgives me, and remembers my sin no more. Not only that, but he wants to get rid of it all, and make me who He originally created me to be. I think that's pretty good deal to sign up for.....don't you?????