Thursday, July 9, 2009

I'm not feeling it today. Haha. It's funny, right when you think you are ready, you aren't. I'm grouchy, so tired, and not feeling worthy of the call that is handed to me today. It's funny how we treat God's word as a reactive tool, and not a proactive tool. Same with prayer. So..., I'm going to take a few minutes and dive into the bible. Nothing like running on empty when you could have a full tank.

I'm having a hard time letting go of Luke today. He is gone so much and has such a big day for a little guy. He goes to school from 9-12:30, then Intensive Therapy from 1-6:30. He does this Monday through Friday. I miss him a lot and wish sometimes I could bail him out, but I know this has to be what's best for him. When I do see him for a short while I'm having to feed him (which is a battle), give him meds, and maybe get a quick squeeze in. I really wish today he could tell me how he feels about all of this, his life, what he wants. One day. Lord, cause Luke to find his voice. I want him to talk so badly.

Sweet Matty, his seizure activity seems to be increasing on these new meds he started, and he sleeps and naps less. Ahhhhhhh! I need his naps. He has been so happy the last few days though, kicking and wiggling more than I've seen in months and laughing hysterically at everything. He is such a joy.

Well, I need to go take that time in the word, so I can function.

Lots of love,

Amber

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